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Posted 21 January 2009 11:22


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A Mafia Godfather finds out that his bookkeeper has cheated him out of ten million bucks.
His bookkeeper is deaf. That was the reason he got the job in the first place.


It was assumed that a deaf bookkeeper would not hear anything that he might have to testify about in court.
When the Godfather goes to confront the bookkeeper about his missing $10 million, he brings along his attorney, who knows sign language.

The Godfather tells the lawyer, "Ask him where the 10 million bucks he embezzled from me is." The attorney, using sign language, asks the bookkeeper where the money is.
The bookkeeper signs back: "I don't know what you are talking about."
The attorney tells the Godfather: "He says he doesn't know what you're talking about."
The Godfather pulls out a pistol, puts it to the bookkeeper's temple and says, "Ask him again!"

The attorney signs to the bookkeeper: "He'll kill you if you don't tell him!"

The bookkeeper signs back: "OK! You win! The money is in a brown briefcase, buried behind the shed in my cousin Enzo's backyard in Queens !"

The Godfather asks the attorney: "Well, what'd he say?"
The attorney replies: "He says you don't have the guts to pull the trigger."

Post #6020
Posted 31 January 2009 23:43


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A masked man armed with a sawn-off shotgun walked into a bank and pointed the shotgun at a chashier:

Gunman: 'Give me £10,000 from the till!  Quick!

Cashier:  'Do you have an account with us Sir?'

Gunman: 'Not yet, but give me the money and I'll open one!'

He who laughs last is a fool for waiting so long!

Post #6129
Posted 05 March 2009 13:46


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I was walking past my fridge and I heard some music. I got closer and realised it was by the Bee Gees. I opened the fridge door and stopped worrying – it was only the chives talking!!
Andy :-)


Andy Jackson
Editor, www.surefish.co.uk
(part time, Tuesdays and Thursdays)
ajackson@christian-aid.org
Post #6699
Posted 28 May 2009 23:42


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A lady was visiting a midlands city for the first time.  As she wandered through the bustling streets she came upon a huge and impressive gothic building complete with clock tower and a civic crest over the main door, 

She was impressed, and asked a passer-by.  'Excuse me, but can you tell me what that building is, please?'

'Yes',  replied the helpful passer-by with some pride, 'That's our Council House.'

First time visitor.  'Aw fancy, My sister's got her name down for one of them.' 

He who laughs last is a fool for waiting so long!

Post #6942
Posted 27 October 2009 11:49


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My Dad, whose first name is Michael, was having a cup of tea on Saturday,morning, when my 7 year old, Harry, came downstairs and said: "Grandpa, your name is Michael Jackson isn't it?"
"Yes it is," replied my Dad.
"Sing for me please!"

Andy


Andy Jackson
Editor, www.surefish.co.uk
(part time, Tuesdays and Thursdays)
ajackson@christian-aid.org
Post #7475
Posted 05 November 2009 07:47


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Yes Andy! It happens! When I was a young man there were two dominent talents in the field of male pop music singers, and one was Elvis. My real name is Cliff (John was just a nickname which I still use in some of my authorship as an alternative name, so I can hide from my many fans. LOL. Young female screaming undressing? You know the type!). Well, a very dear friend of mine always called me 'Cliff Richard' although she knows my real name full well, and she still does to this day. It's not unusual for the postman (when working) to bring me a Christmas card or a Birthbay card addressed to 'Cliff Richard' at my home address. What postie thinks (if indeed he does think) is unknown, but I do know that he refers to the lady living opposite by the name of her house, not her Christian or family name. Such a strange world. Who are we anyway?? God knows! But then He always does! Praise The Lord!

He who laughs last is a fool for waiting so long!
Post #7483
Posted 23 December 2009 18:04


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What crazy blood sucker goes from planet to planet?

A lunatic.


____________________

What God knows, we can hope and try to find out!
Post #7532
Posted 28 May 2010 09:30
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Nice ones, i got almost a laugh attack after reading all these.





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Post #7725
Posted 10 June 2010 14:00
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Nice jokes i really like it.
Thanks..
---
chimney sweep



Post #7729
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