Email from America
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Date: 7 April, 2004

Picture posed by models
 

'The Rector of the church we go to was apparently the Six of Clubs - and publicly complained about not being higher up the deck.'

Helen Angove is finally able to say what she feels about same sex relationships

'Be sure to wear some flowers in your hair…'
The words "if you're going to San Francisco" have taken on a whole new depth of meaning at the church we go to here in California.

During the brief period while the city of San Francisco was issuing marriage licences for same-sex couples, there was a steady stream of couples' names in the "thanksgivings" section of the prayer list, as they made their way upstate to have the official seal of approval applied to their unions.

Our Church has been performing same-sex blessing ceremonies since 1991 (one of our friends was kind enough to show us her photo album of what was clearly a beautiful and meaningful event) but the events in San Francisco have meant that these relationships can be recognised civilly as well as spiritually.

I'm told that a certain English clergyman compiled a pack of playing cards in the same manner as the notorious "Iraq's most wanted" deck - but blacklisting pro-gay clergy instead. The Rector of the church we go to was apparently the Six of Clubs - and publicly complained about not being higher up the deck.

Imminent risk to civil order

Not that his views are shared by all Californians. Soon after San Francisco began issuing the licences, our beloved Governor wrote to the Attorney -General of the State in the following words - "[the city's actions are] directly contrary to state law and present an imminent risk to civil order".

I can only imagine what he was expecting - rampaging hordes of gays running amok through the streets of the city demanding civil rights and better interior design, perhaps? I think the "Terminator" movies may have coloured his expectations here.

Perhaps Mr Schwarzenegger has forgotten that peaceful civil disobedience as a protest against injustice is one of the truly great traditions of this country - dating from the Boston Tea Party, via Martin Luther King and right down to the present day.

We consider ourselves to be fortunate to be going to a church that places campaigning for the human rights of homosexuals near the top of its priority list. It's even organising a fund raising social evening for the cause.

Cheap wine

Now, when I hear about a Church fund raising evening, the mental picture that springs to mind involves a bring and share supper, a "comic" song written by a member of the congregation and set to a well known hymn tune, and if you're really lucky, a bar which sells orange juice and glasses of whatever wine Tesco's has on special offer that week.

Not so at this church. A "platinum" ticket (a snip at $10,000) to this event gets you dinner at the Ritz-Carlton Hotel with Bishop Gene Robinson, invitations to the VIP reception, and entrance to the concert featuring Dionne Warwick and video greetings from Maya Angelou. We live in a different world, here!

But it is an issue that needs to be taken seriously. Back when I was a curate in Somerset, I came across a situation that brought home to me the civil importance of marriage.

I took a service of thanksgiving for the life of a young man. At the time of his death he was in a committed relationship with his girlfriend, and they had a small child. Yet, because he was not legally married to his life partner, it was his parents, not she, who got to make the decisions about his funeral and where he was buried. The whole situation was made immeasurably more painful for her.

"Domestic partnerships"

Gay couples regularly face the same kinds of situations. In California one can contract a "domestic partnership agreement", which bestows on couples rights similar to those enjoyed by married couples, but it's only valid in California.

Travel out of the state, and things like inheritance and right of attorney have to be assured by separate legal documentation. A conversation with a friend was sufficient to make us realise how much stress and indignation can be stirred up by things like this.

One last thing. In the Anglican Church in the UK, it is difficult to be pro-gay. I don't mean that I ever denied what I believe, but before raising the subject I chose my opportunities and my audiences with care - and I believe that this policy had some small success in helping to change attitudes.

It has been the most tremendous relief however, since we have been in the US, to be able to turn off that internal censor, and say what I feel.

Helen Angove is an Anglican priest from the UK, who moved to California in July 2003.

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